Comic Book Movie
Merry Hanukah. Your friendly neighborhood, Deadpool here. Yeah, I know. You were expecting that nitpicky son of a b%&## Trevor to review my movie. Well, I fixed that for you. Today, I will speak to you about it myself. As for Mr. Pacelli: I chained him to a massage chair with his eyes pried open like in A Clockwork Orange. He is currently watching an infinite loop of my movie, so that he can come to his senses as to why I deserve not a C, but a freaking A plus. Now, I shall tell you exactly why my Golden Globe nominated movie is better than that boring star-studded piece of a$$ La La Land.
So, let’s get it started with the title credits, the one where you see me giving a nut shot to some poor c%@* in a car. I throw some irony at you that explains everything about who I am and what I live for: That slow Juice Newton pop song, “Angel of the Morning” plays over credits that tell the truth about the a%%^)#@( in charge of my movie. Yeah, eat your f$(#&%$ heart out Tobey Maguire.
*sips egg nog*
So now, bla, bla, bla, plot summary, plot summary, the one part in movie reviews everyone skips because they’ve already seen the movie and are just here to find an intelligent mind to insult.
As for the movie, I give Quentin Tarantino and Mel Gibson boners with how much I make my enemies bleed. I grope strangers on the street as I pass them by, and I slip sexual innuendos in everyday situation (no, I don’t care if I’m talking to your kid). If Trevor were here, he’d f*&$)@* destroy me for being the worst possible role model for you gun-happy Americans. But you know what? I don’t give a s%*@!
Don’t I just sound amazing to you? Does hearing the way that the surprisingly inexperienced director Tim Miller brought me to life just blow you harder than your ex did? So let me just say, get ready to bring tissues, particularly if you’re a boy. Seeing my case of terminal cancer will make you cry harder than Ben Affleck after Batman v. Superman came out, and after I get mutated for a cure to my cancer, it’ll be like 911 all over again! Ha, yeah, I know offensive humor. It’s my shtick. You can either laugh at it or get the f*#& out.
So now my face looks like Kim Kardashian farted on a kumquat, and no girl will ever love me, not even that fiancé of mine (name’s not important) who makes a living out of hooking up with dudes. So basically, we montage, we screw, and she wants to leave me after I leave her. Yada, yada, usual MCU romance.
My small little world of rubbery CGI is made up of only a couple of people I choose to let live, such as those X-Men d&$(heads Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. They’re just all, “Be an X-men! Be an X-men!” Hello? Have you seen what they did to me in X-Men Origins Wolverine? I am never trusting those cash cows with any g^%&*(# contract again. I live for myself, and that’s the right kind of philosophy to stir my jizz.
Oh, hang on. A f*&^ was just given by Trevor. He wanted me to tell you how horrible the villain is, being a badly acted British stereotype. My a$$. My movie did the same British villain trick that was subliminally done by Disney for years, except I did it better.
What’s that Trevor? You don’t like how the Black blind woman is literally my punching bag? You don’t like how the taxi driver is just there to make fun of Muslims? Well, you can go suck an elephant’s c%@*. I say, we better give roles to those minorities before Trump does fascist things to them!
Now, I’m sweet talking you into this: buy my movie on Blu-ray for all you eighteen and older families to enjoy this holiday. Learn a little about a guy who tells it like it is. Learn not to make the same mistakes I made. Do something productive with yourselves.
Well, now, I’ve got to stop; and that’s not just because I’m at my mid-page limit, but because Trevor has to come back to start bulls(*&$)&# about how my movie is actually about autism. Whatevs. At least now I can stop getting f^$*#(% censored for my f^$*#(% cursing. Bon voyage.
Okay guys, I’m back. No longer Deadpool speaking, just me.
You may have thought that the type of writing and jokes you read above is an exaggeration from what is in the movie, but I can assure you that it is not even slightly so. Reading all that is exactly what sitting through the movie is like. It’s rude, it’s profane, and it beautifies a self-seeking lifestyle. Would you want somebody with autism to imitate the kinds of things that this “hero” does?
While everyone is prone to imitate their favorite movie or television characters, those with autism can follow into the subtle persuasion of imitation with much less self-control.
I remember a point when my all-time favorite TV show was Drake & Josh. Naturally, I didn’t think much about the show besides how funny it was. Two teenage boys are different and have to learn to handle one another being stepbrothers. Drake’s favorite activities were playing guitar and dating girls, but he didn’t give a hoot about anything or anyone else. Josh loves helping others with their problems, but there are points where the lack of respect his stepbrother gives him reveals how unforgiving he is. They also have a little sister named Megan, who loves to pull pranks on them to make their lives miserable, no matter how dangerous they get. Not once in the entire series is she ever punished for it, no matter how far she goes.
Sure enough, I imitated the way these characters behaved. Maybe not to as much of an extreme as depicted in the show, but I still wanted to get a girlfriend with the same type of ease and charisma Drake did, and I still thought that it was okay to cause a little trouble as long as you get away with it. The result? I got to hanging out with the wrong crowd at middle school, those who were leaving a bad influence on me and making others around me miserable.
Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic, Lesson #66: They May Fall Under the Influence.
Comedy is the most persuasive form of role modeling for viewers. The more they laugh at something, the more likely they are to release their judgment and buy into whatever it’s criticizing. Not all people with autism can define what’s appropriate to laugh at and what isn’t, so when they see a foul-mouthed antihero killing people, making penis jokes, and offending minority groups, they’ll think, “This guy’s hilarious! I want to see more!” Pretty soon, this is how they will look at the world.
It doesn’t help either that people with autism don’t forget things easily, including the way others have hurt them in the past.
Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic, Lesson #81: They Hold On To Their Grudges.
So watching someone seek out another for revenge and getting rewarded for it feeds an unhealthy feeling in their senses. They’ll start fantasizing about killing others who have hurt them, and if it gets intense enough, they’ll try to put these feelings into action.
I talked about this same thing in my review of Suicide Squad, but I’m expanding on the argument here by describing how not just the movie itself, but the way it’s marketed can easily lure the unwary into its trap.
We all remember the ad campaigns that Fox put Deadpool through, utilizing some amazingly clever ways to advertise the character in posters, commercials, and sponsorships. So just through that alone, the damage was already done. People were already laughing and worshiping this antihero before they even saw the movie. So naturally, they were quick to purchase a ticket to his movie. It was equally tempting for people to see it too as Deadpool is a part of a much larger franchise; Marvel. These large corporations have mastered their branding, while also becoming slaves to it, and brought a comic book character to the big screen without considering the foul motives he would set for America, especially during a time filled with divisive hatred.
I say, it’s time to pay better attention to role models we’re told to follow, and not get fooled by the persuasions of ad campaigns.
- If you’re autistic, keep careful track of the movies and television programs you watch. Ask yourself if the main characters in each show is worth following as role models.
- To the parents: don’t be the kind of parent who just throws a disc into the DVD player and puts your child in front of it to shut him or her up. Choose your movies intentionally, for kids pay closer attention to them than you realize.
- Don’t watch this movie. I don’t care what Deadpool has to say about it, and I don’t care if you’re a big fan of Marvel. This is the worst kind of movie for America today, and we know better than to celebrate the selfish acts this character does.
If there is a specific movie you’d like to see reviewed, please email me at Trevor@TrevorsViewOnHollywood.com for your recommendations.
Have a great weekend, and happy watching!
Deadpool: Character Evolution. Comic Vine. CBS Interactive, 11 Feb 2016. Web. <http://comicvine.gamespot.com/deadpool/4005-7606/>.
Iron Entertainment. Deadpool Christmas Teaser Trailer Breakdown - 12 Days of Deadpool. Digital image. Youtube, Web. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNuHv3yLjUU>.
What are Your Deadpool Comics Worth? Sell My Comic Books. Google. Web. <http://www.sellmycomicbooks.com/deadpool-comics.html>.