Anyone with younger siblings out there? Pop quiz: When you saw your new little brother or sister arrive into the family, what was your immediate reaction? Were you afraid he or she might detract your attention from mom and dad? Did you anticipate you would somehow have to love this factory of poopy diapers? Is it even worth it to have a sibling after all?
DreamWorks’ newest feature The Boss Baby, based on the children’s book by Marla Frazee, explores those concepts for all of twenty minutes, then fills in the remaining run time with the usual tasteless humor and adult references expected by the studio made famous by Shrek. While the supporting cast gives somewhat decent voice performances, nothing else of memorable interest defines their characters. The whole focus lands on the one big star on the poster.
After recent critical praise on SNL, Alec Baldwin (30 Rock, The Cooler) now makes his second portrayal of our current blonde, small-handed president in a form for the kiddos. He tells his whole story to us, where he came from, how he got here, and why. You see, a corporation exists out in the heavens called “Baby Corp,” a business composed of babies. No reason going into where they came from, or the intent of their mission statement, you’re not supposed to think too hard about it. Why? Because make-believe, duh!
Baby Corp’s workers go across a machine that powders their butts, applies their diapers, and categorizes them based on how ticklish they are. If they’re ticklish, they are sent to a couple’s doorstep. If not, they are sent to management—an enormous office setting built out of baby supplies such as crayons on their desk. Now no more pressure in explaining to your kids where babies come from! DreamWorks’ masterpiece will make them believe their lie, no problem! Then they’ll stop asking you about it and you two can go back to your happy time in the bedroom!
Anyway, the one resembling a miniature Trump gets sent to management, then from there to the doorstep to lead a mission against their ultimate enemy: puppies! Specifically, he has his motives set on stopping the new brand by Puppy Co., the “Forever Puppy,” an immortal infinitely young dog breed. Yet he needs the assistance of the family’s seven-year-old son. Yes, I know. Riveting, isn’t it? Well, maybe so if you were the same age as the two leading kids. Then again…
…if the demographic targets families of kids all ages, why does it include baby powder farts, a censor block over the infant’s privates, pant zipper music, and a doggie inflatable bouncy house with an exit through its anus? There are also subtle signs of mistreatment towards puppies: they are seen hanging from balloons at a convention, as if animal cruelty laws don’t apply. Obviously, the makers of this fast-paced childish noise don’t care about growing up, just painting adults as the villains of a boy’s elaborate imagination where he has to lie to solve his problems. Judging by what we see on Fox News, I say we need some adulthood, and such movies are not helping today’s kids grow up!
The main child, Tim, offers a particularly damaging mindset for kids to look through, as virtually everything he sees is filtered through his rainbow-tinted glasses. Even if the fantasies’ altered 2-D style of animation look fun and stylistic, the concept of his talking baby brother back in the 3-D animation style would suggestively reflect how he feels about having a new sibling, which many narrative points blaringly contradict. Plus, a one point, they’re at an airport together, and not one adult notices the unaccompanied minors. I’m sorry, the concept sounds funny and all, but I can’t buy into it until it decides what to be.
The Boss Baby is not the type of entertainment you sit down and enjoy together, but rather the type of brash noise used to calm your child’s temper tantrums for a measly hour and a half so you two can enjoy some peace and quiet by yourselves for once. You can count on time getting wasted both in the theater and at home with this heap, so you’re better off using Disney or Pixar to divert your kid’s attention, or even using these modes of entertainment as experiences for the parents and children to enjoy together. Anything to get you away from a miniature Alec Baldwin barfing on screen works just fine.
If there is a specific movie you’d like to see graded, or if you are interested in guest blogging for my site, please email me at Trevor@TrevorsViewOnHollywood.com for your recommendations.
Have a great weekend, and happy watching!
Boss Baby, The. 20th Century Fox. Web. <http://www.foxmovies.com/movies/the-boss-baby>.
Renée Bacher. Big-Sibling Blues. Parents. Meredith Corporation. Web. <http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/adjusting-to-new-siblings/>.
Saturday Night Live. Oval Office Cold Open - SNL. Video. YouTube, 5 Feb 2017. Web. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZOF9q5fzfs>.