Autism Lessons in "Fences"

​You would not want Denzel Washington’s character as a father. You may recall seeing trailers advertising this movie, where he scolds to his son, “What law is there saying I got to like you? Don’t you eat every day? As long as you in my house, you put a sir at the end of it when you talk to me.” Hopefully you never had a father unnervingly speak similar words to you; if it turns out you did, I’m here to help.
 
Children all over live under fathers who are poor role models or express no care to love their children. Any child (and mother) wound find it traumatic, even more so when the child has autism.
 
Everybody’s first impression of adulthood comes from the parents. For girls, the mother must show them how to be a woman. For boys, father must show them how to be a man. In both cases, the father, being the usual household leader, stands as the whole house’s role model. You don’t have to agree, but in most circumstances, that is just how it goes.

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Thus, any father should grasp the difference in how to treat a child on the autism spectrum, because there are many. Autism means senses are far more sensitive, so things like yelling in order to discipline creates more harm than good in the relationship. It also means a possible difficulty in forming a connection. My dad and I both took the Myers-Briggs personality test, and our results were almost completely opposite of one another. Although we had little difficulty in developing a relationship over the years—we found plenty to bond over including movies and food. In terms of understanding problems however, a barrier certainly existed. Likewise, autism will often create emotional distance on both sides of the father-child relationship.
 
Then the parents have to somehow agree upon their parenting tactics.
 
Six-Word Lessons for Dads with Autistic Kids, Lesson #34: One is Overprotective and Shelters Him.
Six-Word Lessons for Dads with Autistic Kids, Lesson #35: One Wants to Make Him Normal.
Six-Word Lessons for Dads with Autistic Kids, Lesson #36: One Doesn’t Want to Be Involved.
 
Fences delves into the very issue quite a bit, where the father always has the final say, and the wife has no contribution in anything. Eventually she gets sick and tired of it and stands up against her fear built up over the years. Communication guarantees a healthy marriage. Especially when there are disagreements, voice them earlier rather than later to prevent unneeded crisis.
 
Six-Word Lessons for Dads with Autistic Kids, Lesson #100: Never Stop Saying I Love You.
 
Yet what to do if daddy simply has no desire to better his character? He could be an alcoholic, abusive, fool around with other women, or simply never express any love toward his kids. Sadly, no one single answer exists to help somebody on the autism spectrum under such a predicament. Nothing can express it: The confusion, sensory overload, and depression without a good role model to look up to. You may believe nobody else exists for a boy to know who to aspire, or for a girl to know her ideal traits in a good husband. No two situations are alike, so here are some general tips to help you if you’re stuck in said situation:
 
3 Takeaways:

1. Take a look at my dad’s series of videos about raising autistic kids. He always pulls a single lesson about his book, briefly covers it, and offers three takeaways to understand autism better as parents.
2. If you are the mother caught in this issue, don’t wait for someone else to take charge, or feel like you have no options other than to watch on the sidelines. Take action; and know that if things really get dangerous for everyone involved, and the husband shows little potential for future change, it could be time to take some action. Stand up for your own rights.
3. There are other local male role models your kids could look to. These include therapists, teachers, and other relatives all over who would love to become a role model to help your children understand the real world.

Thanks so much for your time in reading! My book Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic is available on Amazon, Kindle, and iBooks. Be sure to subscribe to my site for more updates on reviews like this.
 
If there is a specific movie you’d like to see reviewed, please email me at Trevor@TrevorsViewOnHollywood.comfor your recommendations.
 
Have a great weekend, and happy watching!