Basically, they often just cannot find a balance between the two extremes of getting out too much and not getting out enough. That includes myself.
This can get especially confusing when the autistic child is in high school, when fishing for friendships is the ultimate concern of the entire community. Your lifelong best friend from kindergarten finds an interest in the life of drugs, and you two end up drifting apart. You feel a romantic drawing to a girl in the math society, but your social clique forbids interaction with that group. You want to come out as gay, but you’re afraid of all your closest friends turning against you. These are confusing times for anyone. Even more so for the autistic individual.
Six-Word Lessons on Female Asperger Syndrome, Lesson #48: Avoid Being Possessive of Your Friends.
But when I went off to college, I transitioned out of an “Anna” stage and more into an “Elsa” stage, where I had more anxiety in meeting with people. Since the world outside of high school is filled with change where people rarely stay, I naturally picked up a lower enthusiasm when it came to making new friends or arranging to meet up with the friends I already had. The result is that I felt lonely more often, and others were not seeing the incredible character I had to offer.
Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic, Lesson #8: They Very Rarely Share Their Thoughts.
All throughout life, anybody on the autism spectrum can peak at either one of these two extremes, and meeting common ground between the two seems nearly impossible at times. It’s hard because the social pressure is exhausting, yet at the same time just as vital for personal satisfaction as any human being with a desire for relationships.
Six-Word Lessons on Growing Up Autistic, Lesson #24: Balance Solo Activities with Parental Interaction.
Although it is not impossible. There are ways to help yourself and your autistic child find that balance between time alone and time with others, thawing a deeply frozen heart.
- Plan on setting up one social outing a week. If it turns out you can’t find somebody with the same schedule availability as you, simply go out to a museum or the city on your own, and don’t be afraid to talk to people if you feel urged to.
- Go ahead and ask some simple “starter questions” to anybody you first meet. You can usually tell after the third or so meeting if somebody’s a compatible friend. If it turns out they’re not a suitable friend, simply (excuse the pun) let it go.
- Don’t refrain from meeting with others if you have no good excuse not to. You should always be living for today with the people you can tangibly meet today. You never know when that will change.
If there is a specific movie you’d like to see reviewed, please email me at Trevor@TrevorsViewOnHollywood.com for your recommendations.
Have a great weekend, and happy watching!