Okay, I know this is two weeks late, but I was kind of in Spain at the time Far from Home first came out in theaters, so I had no time to put this together. But nonetheless, here's what I believe is the genuine ranking of every cinematic Spider-Man film we've had. He's always been an interesting figure, especially for me. When I was in middle school, the Raimi Spider-Man films were my favorite movies ever, I thought it was so cool to see a total loser like Peter Parker become a somebody without anyone knowing who he is. I also really envied the fact that he could score a girl as beautiful as Mary Jane Watson. But then I grew up. I watched the trilogy again with my movie review knowledge I didn't have at age fourteen, and saw how stupid those movies really are.
So now, between four reboots within less than twenty years, which one is the best?
So now, between four reboots within less than twenty years, which one is the best?
#8. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 2014
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The emotional beats are there as they should be, but The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is still a nonsensical continuation of what is easily the worst cinematic version of Spider-Man yet. The love story between Peter and Gwen is cringeworthy with some dreadfully stupid dialogue, and their romance holds any development back from either of them. Not to mention Dane DeHaan’s performance is ridiculous, and Felicity Jones‘ cameo performance is even worse.
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#7. The Amazing Spider-Man 2012
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Like the second one, this Garfield reboot has all the emotional beats necessary for the essential Spider-Man film, so what went wrong? How about virtually everything else? The Amazing Spider-Man is a sloppily edited mess that doesn’t improve on the flaws of the Raimi trilogy at all: the romance between Peter and Gwen is just nothing, there’s no character development whatsoever, the serious moments are more laughable than anything, and Peter is turned into way more of an unlikable jerk than before.
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#6. Spider-Man: Far from Home 2019
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It's neat to see the grief over the loss of Iron Man, especially in how this tragedy puts pressure on Peter Parker. That's really the only praise Spider-Man: Far from Home truly deserves, as it's still an utterly boring adventure that doesn't have nearly as good acting or humor as Homecoming. This is also some of the worst CGI the MCU has ever offered, and the fact that it takes place in Europe doesn't affect the story in any way.
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#5. Spider-Man 3 2007
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While it may be an emotionally satisfying conclusion to the trilogy, Spider-Man 3 absolutely deserves the scorn it’s been getting all these years for its dreadful handling of its multiple subplots. Beyond the fact that it asks you to sympathize with an unrepentant criminal’s actions, the acting and dialogue are now worse than ever before, removing any likability left for Peter, Mary Jane, or anyone else on screen. Oh, and it’s ridiculous how not-diverse this version of New York is!
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#4. Spider-Man: Homecoming 2017
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This third reboot right here gives a brand spanking new take on the famous webslinger, one maybe a little too reliant on jokes for an emotionally satisfying experience. But Peter's meaningful relationship with Tony Stark is what really makes this one slightly more than just another really funny movie by Marvel Studios. Though, the other disliked clichés of the franchise are still here, including his ridiculous pose in front of the American flag. You can read my full review here.
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#3. Spider-Man 2 2004
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While still heartfelt with acting improved a little from the first movie, Spider-Man 2 is ultimately weaker than its predecessor for the personality it seems to be sapping more from the characters. Its message about giving up dreams contradicts itself numerous times throughout. But compared to all other Spider-Man reboots, this one knows how to keep its focus when it's time to feel sad. It's chiefly worth watching just for Peter's scenes that revolve around Uncle Ben.
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#2. Spider-Man 2002
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It’s got some okay performances that set off an effective roller-coaster of feels, but the very first Spider-Man movie is still too hurt by cheesy dialogue and a pointless message about choosing who you should be, not to mention the CGI is now so incredibly dated! But still, it's refreshing to see a Spider-Man movie that works as a standalone and isn't a sequel to another movie, and this one feels as complete as it can be in focusing around Peter coming of age.
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#1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2018
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It's the only Spider-Man movie in existence that not only gives the strongest narrative about the character, but also reminds us of what it means to be Spider-Man, or any hero in that regard. With its explosively colorful animation style that cleverly imitates the look of a comic book, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse effectively communicates how anyone, boy, girl, Black, White, human, pig, can be a hero if they put their hearts to it. Click here to read my full movie review.
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Well, I'm sure that in about three years, we'll get another reboot, if not a sequel, with either the Tom Holland or Spider-Verse versions. To be honest, none of these movies are any good. It's not a Spider-Man thing, it's a superhero movie thing. Because they're almost always made with money taking priority, the artistic side suffers. Thankfully though, Spider-Verse is taking us in the right direction; after it just won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature, and seeing its box office success, it will hopefully challenge other filmmakers to be brave and stylistic with their superhero properties. I'm so excited to see where the future of superhero films will go, with or without Spidey, hopefully it will be change for the better!
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